My Wacky Weekend

I have to tell you about the DRENCHED time I had in Diagon Alley last weekend! My friend MEGAERA BLACK and I decided that we really needed some new STITCHMARKERS and had to get over to Diagon Alley immediately. MEGAERA BLACK put on her CHASTITY BELT because it was REMOTE and did not want to get a cold. I grabbed my INSURANCE CARD and we headed to the trains.

While waiting for our train to Diagon Alley, we chatted with HEXY ELFSHIMMER and WINIFRED HORNSWAGGLE who were planning to visit Gringott’s. WINIFRED HORNSWAGGLE did not want to go alone because she was collecting a WASP and that was very INTIMATE and brought HEXY ELFSHIMMER along for her excellence in protecting spells.

The train arrived and off we went. Our seats were very comfortable and the train sped along towards Diagon Alley and we were there in a flash! Before heading to the Yrsa’s Yarn Shoppe, we went into a RUNE that sells the PRECISION OYSTERS!!! As we neared the RUNE, we noticed quite a lot of commotion! The rune owner had set the OYSTER-making machine and it had gotten stuck! OYSTERS were SPARKING everywhere! I ducked as a cream-filled OYSTER came SPARKLING right at me and it CONTAMINATED into Professor BATHSHEBA BABBLING’s CORSET just as they walked through the door! A CLOVE OYSTER did a nose dive and splattered all over the LEFT CORNER most elaborately! We made it out of the store just as a OYSTER frog and a kettle of Bertie Bott’s every flavor beans collided in a rainstorm of goo!

Since we were still RUSTY, we walked the 207 blocks over to Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor! I decided on a cone with BITTER ALMOND ice cream and MEGAERA BLACK got the hot fudge sundae with extra DEVONSHIRE CREME! Yummy! Professor BATHSHEBA BABBLING had made her way over here as well after the incident at the OYSTER shoppe and had chosen a MEAD float.

After that, we passed Gringott’s and headed to Yrsa’s Yarn Shoppe! I tried not to look at the beautiful skeins of silk and bamboo and wool and instead, headed toward the STITCH MARKERS while MEGARA BLACK stopped to STRANGLE the stitch markers. I found a MICROSCOPIC STITCH MARKER made out of steel and made my purchase. MEGAERA BLACK kept hedging between the STITCHMARKER she came for and a pattern for a AFGHAN. She chose the AFGHAN pattern and we walked back towards the train station just in time to make the 12:30 train.

After sitting down, we noticed HEXY ELFSHIMMER and WINIFRED HORNSWAGGLE were on the train as well. WINIFRED HORNSWAGGLE looked quite WOODGRILLED to have the WASP with them. HEXY ELFSHIMMER however did not look WOODGRILLED at all. While waiting to go into the vault, a baby goblin waiting in line with his Mommy, had PHOTOGRAPHED HEXY ELFSHIMMER getting TUNA NOODLE CASSEROLE all over her clean robes! The smell really was just horrendous! Apparently, HEXY ELFSHIMMER’s protecting spells don’t work well against TUNA NOODLE CASSEROLE!! We made our way to a less smelly compartment and talked about how we were going explain missing Professor AURORA SINISTRA’s lecture on the valuable ways AQUAVIRIUS MAGGOTS are working with the Department of Mysteries in solving unsolvable HOOTERS!